I get by with a little help from my friends

I have been on a running and blogging hiatus for the last week. Since writing last Tuesday after the race, I needed to stop running, thinking about running, thinking my marathon. It was a good break. I spent a wonderful, totally atypical day this past Saturday in my pajamas. That's right, all day. I slept in, watched movies and took a nap. Pretty much the antithesis of the last 20 Saturdays.

I won't lie; the sting from Monday is still here. I still don't know what went wrong and why all my training flew out the window at the moment I needed it most. I'm sure I will continue to think about it for a while. I'm still disappointed and frustrated and the silver linings are not exactly shining in my face at the moment.

I sat down to write tonight not knowing exactly what was going to come out. Until a few minutes ago, I had not seen all the comments written in response to my last post. (I can't believe 9 people even read my blog!) I've received a bunch of emails and Facebook messages. As if Jason and Molly were not great enough on race day, they've both checked in on me to see how I've been feeling this week. When asked the inevitable question "So how was the marathon?", I have had friends interrupt my less-than-enthusiastic response with "She did great!".

I'm touched. I shouldn't be surprised because I know I have amazing friends and family. I've always been my toughest critic and I always will be. But it has been an incredible comfort to hear from so many friends who believe in me a bit more than I have believed in myself recently. While I don't need a crappy marathon to know what great people surround me, it has felt really good to have them around the last few days. Thank you.

Sometimes, that's just the way the cookie crumbles

I started running after college to fill the void of no longer playing competitive teams sports. A volleyball player thought high school and college, I kind of thrive on a training schedule, competition and athletic goals. For the same reasons, I think I have come to love running - both the activity itself and the training for races. And what greater race to train for than a marathon.

The difference though is that in volleyball, one bad game could be rectified with 20+ possible other opportunities in a given season. Training for a marathon is all about one day. And if the day doesn't go as planned, the next opportunity is a bit further away than right around the corner.

Such was my experience yesterday at the 115th Boston Marathon. All signs pointed to a great race. My training was stronger than it had ever been and I felt great on Monday morning. I wasn't nervous, but just excited and happy to be running the race. I was running with my friend Jason, who had given up his spot in corral #2 to pace me to my marathon goal, and couldn't have been happier about having such a great running partner.

Things started out well. One of the challenges of being a non-qualified runner for Boston is starting in the way back with the other non-qualified runners. The first 4-5 miles were very congested. Several times being stopped in my tracks by a wall of runners quite a bit slower in front of me. But despite that, I was on pace after the first 5 miles. Miles 5-10 opened up a bit and I ran comfortably, again hitting my goal pace as of Mile 10. Miles 10-15 started out well too and I crossed the 1/2 way point about 20 seconds under pace.

But around Mile 14 I started to feel a little off. I noticed my hip (THE hip) was starting to ache a bit. I have to say, of any body part, that's the one I am super tuned into these days, so I started to drop my pace a little and paid attention to how things were feeling. Slowly though, things got worse instead of better. By mile 18, I hardly noticed my hip because my quads and calves had started cramping pretty bad. I made an effort to drink more as I chugged away up the hills. I found a short burst of energy when I saw friends at the top of Heartbreak Hill and hoped I could sustain it, but by the waterstop at Mile 21, I was walking trying to shake out the cramps that were now really slowing me down.

Only 5 miles to go. But these 5 felt like 500. I wanted so badly to run faster but my legs disagreed. I started cramping in my feet - my feet! That has NEVER happened before on a run. So I just plodded along. Walking through waterstops to try to down fluids that might ease the cramping (it didn't). I had visualized running strong through Kenmore Square so many times as this race approached. I was supposed to be smiling and having fun, ignoring the inevitable aches, knowing I was on my way to my best marathon ever. Unfortunately, my trip through Kenmore was a bit different yesterday. Head down and focused on just getting the damn race over with. I didn't even want to see if anyone was there cheering for me. I just wanted it to end.

Right on Hereford, left on Boylston and I could see the finish line. We moved to the left so I could see my parents who had been camped out there all day waiting for me. The night before, my mom told me that whatever happened on race day, I was not allowed to cry unless my leg was falling off. Seeing as it was not that bad, I waved and smiled as I passed by my folks. With the finish ahead, I noticed my watch said 3:59:25. It was a long shot, but I was going to try to at least stay under 4 hours. I picked up the pace and ran what felt like a sprint for the last tenth of a mile. Jason grabbed my hand for an arms raised crossing of the finish line (it's good for the photos :) as we crossed at 4:00:19.

Yesterday was definitely not the day I had envisioned through out 4 months of training. I'm definitely disappointed and frustrated that my hard work did not end with the result I had worked so hard to achieve. However, even if I am not ready to embrace it yet, I also realize that what happened yesterday is still an accomplishment, if in a slightly different way. I still ran a marathon 51 weeks after having hip surgery. And I still finished that marathon, despite wanting to cut my legs off at mile 22. Oh, and I have raised almost $5000 for the Alzheimer's Association in the process.

If I could have had it my way, I would have wrote the ending to my Boston Marathon story a bit differently. But it is what it is and instead will do my best to learn for the experience. It's still my goal to run a 3:40 marathon. Yesterday was just not the day and sometimes, that's just the way the cookie crumbles. I'll just have to figure out another way to make it happen.

The home stretch

Next week at this time, I will be hopefully crawling into bed, anticipating a 4:00am wake up that will begin the day I have been working towards for the last several months. It seems crazy that once upon a time I was counting weeks, and even months until the marathon and now it is just days away. So few days away, that the weather can even be (somewhat) predicted already. High of 57 with a 40% chance of showers, in case you were wondering. Promising.

After what seemed like the longest January ever, I can hardly believe it is April 10th today. Saturday I completed my last long training run. 12 miles. Despite an upset stomach, I ran comfortably, hitting my pace goals, and a bit faster even. Now I just need to keep myself healthy. Thanks to my physical therapist, Dave, and massage therapist, Chris, at Joint Ventures Physical Therapy and Fitness I've managed to keep possible running injuries under control. I have learned a lot about how to listen to my body in the last year as well, but seriously, these guys are the best, and have helped me keep the "tweaks" to just that and better.

I just realized this weekend though that it's not just running injuries I need to think about this week. Over the last few days I have become hyper aware of several friends and coworkers fighting stomach bugs and colds. Now I just need to make it 7 days without an illness or freak accident. Fingers crossed. The countdown is on.

Fundraising efforts are also in the home stretch. Saturday night was our 80s party to raise money for the Alzheimer's Association. Brenna and I departed from our usual all-black running gear with some neon for the occasion. Donations are still being accepted. Please visit http://alz.kintera.org/boston2011/chrissyrunsagain

Some rest and reflection

Following last week's 23 miler, I packed a suitcase full of shorts, tank tops and swim suits and boarded a plane at 6:00am Sunday morning that would lead me to the Caribbean for a sunny, 6-day vacation. The trip was everything I hoped it would be - warm, sunny and relaxing. I woke up each morning without an alarm. I read books. I snorkeled. I took mid-afternoon naps.

And I ran.

Each morning, I made my way to the fitness center before logging my beach time. I would like to say I enjoyed the sun while I ran, but the low temps never made it much below 75, and so upon an 8:00am wake up, with temps already approaching 80 most mornings, I opted for the barely air-conditioned, windowless fitness center to get in my workout. I think I ran faster just so I could get out of there sooner.

As much as I would have preferred a few extra hours in the sun (or heck, under an umbrella would have been nice too), I am glad I stuck to my training schedule while I was away. After arriving back in Boston at 9:35 last night, I woke up this morning and ran did my long run with the RFTM team. Despite a challenging last 4 miles, uphill and into a headwind, the 16 mile run went a lot better than I had hoped. And that's always a good thing.

Following my run, I learned about a challenging time a friend is having with her loved one who has Alzheimer's. The conversation got me thinking about why I am running this race in 2 weeks. I had hip surgery 49 weeks ago. I could have waited a little longer to give a marathon a try. I could have attempted a flatter course if my goal is to really run a qualifying time for a future Boston Marathon. I could have saved myself the stress of fundraising and just run the race like most marathon registrants do.

But I want to run THIS race. I want to be a part of the team that made this race so special to me. I want to honor my grandparents, my uncle's mother and all the loved ones of friends I have learned about over the last 5 years who have suffered and dealt with Alzheimer's disease. I want to raise awareness that there are resources out there to help, if you are unfortunate enough to have to deal with it. Even if that resource is a running buddy with understanding and compassion.

All my running goals still stand. Maybe I even want them a little more now. And I am glad I was reminded of why I will really be out there in 15 days.